The Men’s Chorus sings us a bright Ho Ho Ho;
While Figgy Pudding carolers swarm cobblestones.
Even orcas are making a turn toward the merry,
Donning dead-salmon hats from their sea millinery.
Arts venues are firing up the ol’ chestnuts,
Time-tested crowd-pleasers that fill seats with guest butts.
So here come the holiday listings in verse,
A tradition that’s truly part blessing, part curse.
Be it ugly sweater or Nutcracker swag,
This crowd is decked out in December drag.
Here’s the Sugar Plum Fairy en pointe and on cue,
Here’s Dina Martina, lipstick madly askew,
Here’s Jinkx and DeLa, fab comedy queens,
Here’s Northwest Boychoir with voices pristine.
Here comes Mr. Scrooge, the scowling old geezer,
with six(!) different ways to portray Ebenezer.
Visit ACT to see Carol in classical fashion;
For a one-man show, you’ll need a ferry to Vashon.
The story is striking as told o’er at Strawshop,
where three actors do a Dickensian mic drop.
Kenyon Hall stages Scrooge a la radio play,
While SIFF screens the Muppets avec Michael Caine.
You say you want something more audience-driven?
Improvised Christmas Carol has laughs as a given.
Charlie Brown does Christmas as sweet Peanuts snack,
And who can resist the iconic soundtrack?
Hear it played by jazz pianists at The Royal Room;
Or by “Juicy” Gonzales (tickets selling out soon).
Benoit plays Jazz Alley with a Chaz Brown tribute,
And the story per Schulz is on stage at Taproot.
Be your Christmas Appalachian or as in Ukraine,
there’s plenty more music to light up your brain.
Maybe you’re seeking a British Isles Christmas,
Or Celtic, on violin, played with a quickness.
Handel’s Messiah, sing Hallelujah;
Black Nativity’s gospel, sure to renew ya.
While the Symphony chooses to go Home Alone,
Kenny G strikes his patented smooth, sax-y tone.
And for those wanting something less fa-la-la-lala:
a Fiddler on the Roof sing-along, complete with challah.
You know Comet and Cupid and Donner and Blitzen
But do you know who has the sparkliest vixens?
The Burlesque Nutcracker will answer the call
(Regarding their costumes: It’s dash away, all).
Can Can’s Wonderland plays both naughty and nice,
with an all-ages version that takes down the spice.
For joyful irreverence it’s Jingle All the Gay;
War on Christmas is comic subversion and slay.
Whoa, Tannenbaum! How this season is humming,
Performances popping off, little drummers drumming.
It’s even got two world premieres up its sleeves:
The Snow Queen (for kids) and Happy Christmas, Jeeves.
Though fave Die Hard Christmas has long been sold out,
Yule Cat, straight from Iceland, comes with claw clout.
Yes, just when we feel like the world’s pulled asunder
The holiday shows awake from their slumber
To give us a smile like a lost and found toy —
In turmoil art always brings comfort and joy.
Everybody wins when you shop art markets for the holidays. Here: a ceramic “wall collage” by Lily Hotchkiss for AMcE’s pop-up. (AMcE Creative Arts)
Once I start rhyming it’s hard to get stopping; here are some art markets for weekend shopping!
Osay Linger 10th edition (formerly King Street Makers Market, now at Railspur in Pioneer Square), Dec. 5 - 7
Pottery Northwest Holiday Market (Pioneer Square), Dec. 7
Urban Craft Uprising (20th edition! at Seattle Center Exhibition Hall), Dec. 7 - 8
Side Rail Collective: Off the Wall (artworks under $200; Georgetown), Dec. 7, 14, 21
Modern Glaze (group ceramic show in Shoreline), Dec. 7 - 8, 20 - 22
AMcE Creative Arts Artisan Pop-Up (North Capitol Hill), Dec. 8
Seward Park Clay Studio Holiday Sale (Seward Park), through Dec. 28
