Humor: Why should I 'have a good one'?

People wishing me such a thing leave me befuddled, and reaching for just the right withering reply.

Humor: Why should I 'have a good one'? — Have a nice day I can get. But "have a good one"?

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Steve Clifford Feb 6, 2018

Feb 6, 2018

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                <h1>Humor: Why should I 'have a good one'?</h1>
                <h2><p>People wishing me such a thing leave me befuddled, and reaching for just the right withering reply.</p></h2>
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               <p>By <a href="/author/s-clifford-comcast-net/">Steve Clifford</a></p> 
              <p><time datetime="2025-02-04T05:00:00-08:00">Feb 6, 2018</time></p>
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            <p>People wishing me such a thing leave me befuddled, and reaching for just the right withering reply.</p><p><b>Retail clerks, recovering accountants,</b> and others who hold me in low esteem have begun to wish me "a good one." They say, 'êHave a good one'ê instead of 'êHave a good day.'ê</p><p>Perhaps they ceased wishing me a 'êgood day'ê to avoid my devastating rejoinders:</p><!--kg-card-begin: html--><ul> <li>Great idea.  Why didn'êt I think of it first?</li> <li>I'êve already had mine this month.  </li> <li>Not today, but Friday might work.  </li> <li>Thanks, but I'êm married.  </li> <li>I have other plans.  </li> <p>   I am befuddled by 'êhave a good one.'ê  Exactly what are they suggesting:  A good day? A good quadruple bypass? A good soup and salad lunch? A good religious epiphany?  A good tea party?  A good bowel movement? A good Zen koan?  The possibilities are endless.  </p> <p>   I could reply politely with, 'êHave a good one yourself.'ê  But what if the recovering accountant meant, 'êHave a good attack of shingles?'ê I would not wish shingles on anyone other than a Yankee fan.  </p> <p>I am currently testing five responses to 'êhave a good one'ê:  </p> <ul> <li>The probing: 'êOne What?'ê  </li> <li>The confrontational:  'êAnd then what?'ê  </li> <li>The non-committal: 'êI will consider it.'ê  </li> <li>The avaricious: 'êWhat not a good two, or even a good eight?'ê  </li> <li>The retributive: 'êThe same to you if you'êre a Yankee fan.'ê  </li></ul> <p>   Thus far, the above rejoinders have elicited remarkably similar responses — 'êasshole,'ê 'êjerk,'ê and 'êI discern that you are not a native Seattleite.'ê  </p> <p>  Results of my research will be published in <i>Tenure: The Journal of Academic Academics.</i> </p>&nbsp;&nbsp;</ul><!--kg-card-end: html-->
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People wishing me such a thing leave me befuddled, and reaching for just the right withering reply.

Retail clerks, recovering accountants, and others who hold me in low esteem have begun to wish me "a good one." They say, 'êHave a good one'ê instead of 'êHave a good day.'ê

Perhaps they ceased wishing me a 'êgood day'ê to avoid my devastating rejoinders:

Great idea. Why didn'êt I think of it first?
I'êve already had mine this month.
Not today, but Friday might work.
Thanks, but I'êm married.
I have other plans.

I am befuddled by 'êhave a good one.'ê Exactly what are they suggesting: A good day? A good quadruple bypass? A good soup and salad lunch? A good religious epiphany? A good tea party? A good bowel movement? A good Zen koan? The possibilities are endless.

I could reply politely with, 'êHave a good one yourself.'ê But what if the recovering accountant meant, 'êHave a good attack of shingles?'ê I would not wish shingles on anyone other than a Yankee fan.

I am currently testing five responses to 'êhave a good one'ê:

The probing: 'êOne What?'ê
The confrontational: 'êAnd then what?'ê
The non-committal: 'êI will consider it.'ê
The avaricious: 'êWhat not a good two, or even a good eight?'ê
The retributive: 'êThe same to you if you'êre a Yankee fan.'ê

Thus far, the above rejoinders have elicited remarkably similar responses — 'êasshole,'ê 'êjerk,'ê and 'êI discern that you are not a native Seattleite.'ê

Results of my research will be published in Tenure: The Journal of Academic Academics.

By Steve Clifford