Humor: Flouting the rules is hard work

Glenn Beck may think people who play by the rules are angry with their country. He's doesn't know the half of it.
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Glenn Beck is a typical type in public life, insecure and needing adulation.

Glenn Beck may think people who play by the rules are angry with their country. He's doesn't know the half of it.

From Glenn Beck'ꀙs Common Sense comes this pearl: "Most of us work hard, play by the rules and just want a fair shake — but we'ꀙre tired. We'ꀙre tired of being angry'ꀦ'ꀝ

How about those of us who don'ꀙt work at all, flout the rules, and want a lot more than a fair shake? You think we have it easy? Think we'ꀙre not tired? Think we'ꀙre not angry? Ha! Try it yourself. You wouldn'ꀙt last a day!

I haven'ꀙt worked in nine years. I wake up every morning knowing that, for the entire day, no one is going to complain to me about his pay or her assistant's pay. Is it tiring? Hell, yes! Do I whine about it? Hell no! It is just the way things are. Maybe I'ꀙll read a book, play golf, go to the theatre, bicycle, listen to music, or try a new recipe. Does it make me angry? You betcha. Everything makes me angry.

Not playing by the rules is exhausting. Next time you play golf, try kicking your ball out of the rough. It ain'ꀙt as easy as it looks. Sometimes I explain, 'ꀜDoctor'ꀙs orders. Can'ꀙt swing where ticks are carrying Lyme disease.'ꀝ Other times I try, 'ꀜUnder rule 7.4 (a) I believe I'ꀙm entitled to a free drop,'ꀝ or simply, 'ꀜI always kick my ball out of the rough. I'ꀙm sure you'ꀙll understand.'ꀝ

Finagling on my income tax makes me angry. It'ꀙs my money and I have to lie and cheat just to keep some of it. I get so tired — thinking up bogus deductions, claiming dependents that don'ꀙt exist, and reporting fictitious losses — I want to scream.

You think cutting in line, cheating at cards, and lying about age to get a senior discount are easy? If they were easy, everyone would do them I get tired of cutting in line, cheating at cards, and lying about age. That makes me angry. And then I get tired of being angry which makes me even angrier. Sometimes I envy those who play by the rules and this makes me go ballistic.

I don'ꀙt want a fair shake. I want the percentage, the inside track, the head start. Even better, I want the sure thing, the lock, and the fix. I don'ꀙt want a fair shake. I want a shake with loaded dice.

A fair shake delivers what one deserves. In my case, this means bubkes, zilch, zippo, a goose egg. People who want a fair shake suffer serious delusions regarding their value to the world. People who want a fair shake should eschew careers in law, investment banking, and politics.

But, I m tired of wanting the edge. I am tired of playing with a card up my sleeve. It makes me incensed, then irate, then livid with rage. No wonder I am tired.

  

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